Sending Students on Exchange: A Parent’s Perspective.
There’s a quick wave and the child - the one you have nurtured and held close for up to 18 years - disappears through the airport door into a wonderful new adventure in another country. The sense of loss for any parent is immediate and profound. The intensity of that feeling does pass. What doesn’t pass is the certainty that the year for the exchange student will be one of extraordinary growth and experiences that will benefit them forever.
We have now sent three of our kids – one girl, two boys – on Rotary Exchange after they finished Year 12. Mercedes went to Italy near Lake Como in 2008. John went to La Rochelle in France the following year. Tom is currently in Brazil. All three have very different personalities. All consider it the best thing they have ever done. The Rotary structure is designed to ensure that every student is both well protected while encouraged and challenged to make the best of the opportunities of a year living in another country.
I looked closely at other exchange programs initially and I know that there is nothing to compare with Rotary in terms of preparation and continuing care and a sense of community and connection. I knew that anytime my child had a problem, there would be someone to talk to, someone happy to help. And I could relax knowing that they would be staying with families like ours who would look after their new sons and daughters with their best interests at heart.
It is now increasingly popular for kids to take gap years abroad between school and university. In one sense, Rotary exchange can be seen as a version of that. But it is actually so much more. The richness of the experience is beyond measure. It’s not just the magic of learning so much about another fascinating country and culture from the inside rather than as a tourist. It’s also the relationships they form with local friends, with their families and, often, with other Rotary students. Without fail, they learn to understand and appreciate their own culture better as well.
Greater self knowledge and a greater sense of personal responsibility and confidence inevitably follow.. A year seems a long time. All students I have met can never believe how quickly it goes,. particularly the second six months.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy for the students or for their parents. Despite the wonderful and very useful efforts of Rotarians and past exchange students to give them advice beforehand, students go through an incredible learning curve from the day they arrive. They dive headfirst into a new culture, a new family life and new social networks. They have to learn a lot about themselves and their responses to situations and be ready to take the initiative when necessary. Being constantly asked about oneself and one’s background in an unfamiliar language can be exhausting as well as fun. Sometimes, students are tempted to retreat into their previous worlds for a few hours – made much more possible by the prevalence of Facebook these days.
But the overwhelming response from the now many students I have now seen go on exchange is continuing delight and pride at how they are adapting to and learning from all these experiences.
Attending school lessons without understanding the language at first can be hard. But the kids adjust remarkably quickly and are usually given a lot of encouragement and latitude. Mercedes found she learnt more about English grammar in Italy than she had in Australia. And of course they all made good friends and established immediate bonds with the local teenage community. We are about to have a French boy from John’s school come to stay with us for a few days which will be fun.
Sometimes, the idea of moving families can be unsettling if they have been very happy at one. But the system actually works very well and it only takes a week or two before the students feel very much “at home” again. It also gives them another perspective on life in this new culture. Several of Mercedes’ and John’s families also took them on holidays to different countries which was another great opportunity for them.
Throughout the year, Rotary also organises a range of excursions for the district students on weekends which are great fun. The major one is during the long holidays. In Mercedes’ case, she went to a sailing camp on Lake Como which she said was one of the highlights of the year. John went on a Eurotour to several countries near France and Tom is travelling the Amazon.
A few years ago, I had no real knowledge of the Rotary Exchange program and how it worked. The kids had even less. Our entire family is grateful and thrilled to now know about the possibilities it offers students able to take it up. Our kids have friends and families in another country that is like their second home. They have been able to keep in touch with them and will always do be able to do so.
If anyone is hesitating – either student or parent – take it from me. Going on exchange is one of the great opportunities of a student’s life, waiting to be grasped. No one will ever regret it.
Jennifer Hewett, Sydney, February, 2011
